It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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