Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
