It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
