so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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