This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just threw up on my dentist
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
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doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
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Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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