Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
