; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
