I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
And then the night went full on bisexual.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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