my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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