we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
