just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
