Duck Duck Cougar?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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