Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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