i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
How does one acquire holy water?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
