Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
