Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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