You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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