I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
