i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
