Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
