The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
