New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
