Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
