I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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