I feel like I'm in dance class right now
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
