Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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