just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
