Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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