Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
