I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
