Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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