Redeem this text for a blowjob
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
