69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
soo... how was my night?
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