why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
