The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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