I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
