Rock
Scissors
Fuck
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
