You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
