If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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