I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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