he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
