thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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