xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
