He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
