You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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