Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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