I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
