I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
