I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize