if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
