TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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