your parents love me but you hate me
babies were throwing up all over the place
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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