this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
last night I used snow as a chaser
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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