I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
