K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
