I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
