I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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