wakey wakey hands off snakey
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
