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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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