it's like iHOP with fire
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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