I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
