I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
