No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
