Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
