Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
