Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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