When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I want is dick and wine.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
