found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
