i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
