So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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