U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
