i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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