I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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